


There is no such button

by McCreamy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Other, he fucks the copy machine, i got an AO3 specifically to post this, i literally cannot believe i wrote this, im not lying, yet here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:42:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9229118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McCreamy/pseuds/McCreamy
Summary: Written largely in part due to @boycrop 's genjiXcopy machine tweets. Genji has a hard time with the office copier and things get steamy.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glamourtentia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamourtentia/gifts).



> I know this will come up bc it has before, so i'm gonna put it here in the beginning: I know toner in the big machines like this one is actually mostly powder, it is written in as a liquid as an aesthetic/functionality choice.

Genji Shimada was known around the office for three things: his wild hair, his wild weekend parties, and his wildly late reports. If the management had half a mind to they would've fired him already, but luckily the half of the mind that management did use was charmed by the spritely Japanese boy, and he was free to continue his wild ways. 

Ways which inevitably led to very early Monday mornings sitting alone in the office with nothing but the constant shuck shuck shuck of the copy machine as it churned out pages upon pages of late reports and extra work to make up for the tardiness. Genji was nothing if not resourceful and made sure that every late document he turned in was accompanied by a long, but usually related, article filled with all sorts of junk he'd collected from clients and coworkers that he thought might aid the upper management in their future endeavors and help lessen the blow on himself when they eventually came down on him yet again for being late.

This past week was spectacularly heavy on the workload, being so close to the holidays and all. Being the little festive gremlin that he was, Genji had left himself plenty of time that week to party and socialize without a care in the world while also being a responsible adult and giving himself all of about 3 hours the following Monday morning before work to finish up all the documents he owed. Time well managed, if he did say so himself! 

“Past me is a fucking idiot.” Genji ran achy fingers through his already quite mussed hair as he leaned back in the less-than-comfortable office chair of his cubicle. “But! Current me is not a quitter,” he glanced over at the digital wall clock that read 6:33am, “and future me has more partying to do, so!” He had made good time so far; only one more report to finish and then he could nap until his day actually started. With renewed vigor and a solid clack, his hands hit the keyboard and he was off, nimble fingers flying across the well-worn surface with graceful articulacy. Nothing could stop him! 

Nothing except the old overworked office printer, of course.

The gentle shuck shuck shuck of the printer had gone on without interruption for a little over a solid hour before it was replaced with the high-pitched screech of the paper jam alert. Genji knew this sound all too well and cringed as the tone blared through the empty hallway that separated his work space from the copy room. He reluctantly stood and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a deep sigh through gritted teeth before pushing away his chair and dutifully marching over to the copy room. 

“One more goddamn report.You could not have waited for just one more, could you?” The scolding of the inanimate object felt justified seeing as this was not the first time it had wronged him, and Genji firmly believed it would not be the last either.

“What's it now, huh? Got too tired and just didn't wanna do it anymore?” 

He hovered over the service screen for a moment before rolling his eyes at the vague and simple directions. Honestly who did they write those for, infants? With a quick tap he dismissed the instructions and knelt down in front of the machine, but before he could even open the doorhe immediately noticed how warm it was. It had been working pretty hard over the past hour; maybe it just overheated? He pressed the flat of his palm against the service door and hummed at the pleasant warmth that radiated from it. It wasn't too hot but he made a mental note to come in here during the colder days coming up if he needed to warm up.

After a moment more of indulging in the heat he popped open the service door and all but buried his face in his hands. He already didn't know what the fuck he was doing and thought back to the simply worded instructions he'd backed out of on the screen. It was him, he was the infant they wrote those for. Amongst the various multicoloured knobs, handles, latches, and pulleys were the telltale signs of crumpled papers trapped between the unforgiving industrial rollers of the copier. Genji figured that starting with the papers was the safest bet and rolled his sleeves up, steeling himself before diving elbow deep into the hot monstrosity that was the inside of the machine. 

“This is so gross…” Genji withdrew his arms after a short fight with a very stubborn piece of paper which he managed to only grab half of. Instinctively he wiped the dark ink off of his forearms directly onto the lap of his work khakis. “Oh. My god.” He fumed at the idiotic mistake but waved his hands dismissively as he got up to cross into the break room next door. “I am too tired for this. I will get new pants before work. But I cannot let this stop me!” Determination flashed across his face as he clenched a fist in the air dramatically, posing awkwardly in the middle of the (thankfully) empty breakroom, crotch soaked with printer ink.

He made a satisfied noise and nodded before breaking pose and undressing. Most of the ink was centralized on the crotch of his pants, but his overzealous digging had earned his sleeves a generous smattering of ink around the rolled cuffs as well. Genji knew that soaking the garments in cold water probably wouldn't have any real help in saving them since the ink was very dark, but it was worth a shot. And being in just his undershirt and boxers was significantly more comfortable anyway.

After thoroughly rinsing out his clothes and then setting them to soak Genji returned to the copy room, ready to take on the monster once more. This time, he would not fail now that there was nothing getting in his way! The machine sat against the wall, door open and welcoming, a small puddle of ink from Genji’s previous encounter starting to form underneath it. 

“Get ready to get fixed, bitch!” 

Some fiddling with the touch screen got the instructions that had been once scorned back up and ready to be followed, and Genji was ready to get this over with. He followed the instructions as closely as possible and after about a half hour with much effort, and even more ink spilled, he was finally able to release the last sheets of paper from the machine’s grasp. As he fished a few left-behind scraps from between the wheels he smiled triumphantly, wiping some of the quickly cooling sweat from his brow and in the process smearing ink on his face.

“Genji Shimada, professional copy machine fixer!” he declared proudly to the empty room as he locked everything back into place and slammed the door shut, punching the start button and reveling in the sound of printer resuming where it had left off before the incident. “Nothing can stop me.” He nodded and wavered, suddenly feeling the toll of not sleeping a full night and working his ass off all morning coupled with fighting a copy machine. It had been a long morning and the poor dude was ready for a break. 

His knees hit the ground on either side of a corner of the machine as he sunk down to rest, his arms braced on the lid as it gently rocked him with the steady pace of its printing. The constant shuck shuck shuck returned to fill the otherwise quiet air and lulled the tired boy into a light doze, the heat radiating from the inside comforting him as he yawned and let his head rest on his biceps. 

Though not fully asleep, Genji was definitely not entirely awake and was instead in a sort of tired haze, his eyes closed and his body half chilled by the cold office air settling on his sweat-damp skin. He shuffled closer to the gentle rocking of the printer, hoping to sap some more of its warmth, and ended up straddling the corner quite tightly, his thighs flush to either side of it while his chest leaned heavily on the sharp corner.

If it the heat wasn't so nice and he wasn't so bone tired he might've adjusted his position to something less awkward, especially once the machine’s constant rocking started to irritate his tender bits in a way he was a bit embarrassed to admit. But he was just so bone tired that the rhythmic swaying against him and the very comfortable heat came together in his sleepy haze to bring on some pretty nice feelings. He'd worked hard all morning, he deserved a little TLC. From a copy machine. 

The realization that he was getting worked up over being ground against by a machine almost had Genji tossing himself back in shame. Almost. Hey, folks did it with washing machines, right? This couldn't be much different. And it was still at least another hour until someone came in so, why not? 

Satisfied with the job he did of convincing himself, Genji shimmied up on his haunches to press the parts of him that mattered most against the rumbling side of the copy machine. The new angle allowed him to better support himself and he was able to spare a hand to slide down his front and grip himself through his boxers. He was surprisingly hard just from the short contact with the printer and he grimaced despite the way his cock twitched interestedly in his grasp, blaming the reaction on how tired and out of it he was. 

He released his grip partly to instead press his hardness against the gently rumbling side, relishing in the sensation the firm direct contact gave him. For a few solid minutes Genji let himself pant and rock back against the machine, being as unabashed as if he were at home. The rocking of the machine was, however, subtle and clinically constant and gave off little vibration, so the intense feeling was quickly downgraded from new and exciting to actually quite bland and nearly frustrating. 

Genji wrestled open his eyes and glared at the touch screen, hoping to find the secret button or knob that would lead to his sexual gratification. There was, of course, no button for such a thing, because it was a copy machine. But he was determined. There were still about 200 pages left to print according to the counter on the screen, and there weren't many options that would change the pace of the machine. However, there was the option to hole punch, staple, and double side the pages. 

Now, Genji wasn't entirely familiar with the machine’s capabilities, but he did remember hearing it do all three of those things at once before for someone else. It had sounded like the damn thing was about to take off and enter orbit, and that sounded like exactly what he needed to get himself to a figurative lift off. Nimble fingers quickly punched in the orders on the screen and the copier beeped in acknowledgement once before it seemed to brace itself for the hell that had just been set up for it. 

Genji had only a mere fraction of a second to steady himself back in place before the machine shook with an almost worryingly violent array of motions and sounds, nearly tossing him back as the first set of papers were flipped and stapled together inside. The old gentle shuck shuck shuck of paper was replaced by a cacophony of shuck shriiik thuck phoufm, and the easy rocking morphed into a rough push pull and rattle that shook Genji to his very core as each set passed through the machine. Now this he could get behind.

The new adjustments set up a brutal pace that Genji was more than happy to follow as he rubbed himself against the machine’s wall in time and whined out hushed noises of pleasure and relief. He rutted against the machine and squeezed his eyes shut, simply enjoying the heat and new friction given to him.

“Ooh, fuck. Yeah, not jamming up now, are you?” He laughed a bit between huffs, finding himself more amused than ashamed to be near dirty talking a copy machine. “Keep it up for me, okay? Just a little more…” He trailed off and shifted in place.

The heat of the machine grew in intensity as the workload mixed with his body heat and soon it was nearing on uncomfortable. Genji, resourceful as he was, remembered the pool of ink he'd left spilt out earlier and freed himself long enough to coat his hand in the now cold and viscous liquid before bringing it back to slick over his arousal, humming delightedly at the change in temperature and the ease with which he slid against the machine once more. He'd remember to clean the mess up later; now he had no time to think about being neat. 

With his hand and arousal now thoroughly slicked Genji lapsed back into the harsh quick rhythm of the copier and thrusted against it with abandon, knowing that at this rate the print job would probably last longer than him. He stroked himself against the pebbled wall of the machine and wondered in passing if the texture was always that apparent or if it was just his oversensitive skin picking up on it. Whichever was the truth, he was thankful for the extra bit of friction that caught on him and sent shivers down his spine. 

After a few more particularly meaningful thrusts, the all too familiar and extremely welcome heat that had been building steadily in Genji’s gut was threatening to spill over. As if in response to his more hurried rutting the machine’s pace quickened, signaling the end of the job coming up. The jump in pace was exactly what Genji needed to finally break as his strong thighs gripped either side of the machine, and with a sharp cry he released a splatter of white to accompany the messy streaks of black he'd already made on the side wall. The last few sets pushed through the printer and it rocked Genji through his climax roughly, helping him milk out everything he had left as the last pages fluttered down into the output tray. 

It took a few long groggy minutes for Genji to finally slide off of the copy machine and down onto the cold floor, and an even longer few minutes for him to drag himself back up and collect himself enough to clean up and grab his still soaking clothes from the break room. He decided to leave his work piled on his desk and he made a quick note to leave on top of the stack as he finished and printed the last one. He was too tired to go home and change and come back, and he figured he might need some time away from the office after his workplace tryst, so he left a simple “Finished my stuff, be in tomorrow!” for his boss to find once he came in. 

*****  
AND THATS IT IM DONE IM NEVER LOOKING AT THIS AGAIN FUCK


End file.
